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Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Doctor Horror Stories


Hi I'm Kayla and I've been fucked around by the healthcare industry for three years.

I've been to a plethora of shitty doctors, and today I am going to share my doctor horror stories with you, the general public, in the hopes of perhaps making you feel less alone as you navigate the clusterfuck that is the medical field.

I haven't calculated the total number of doctors I've seen (because ew math) but it's definitely upwards of 30. Here are the worst of the worst:

1. My First Neurologist: spat out a few classics such as "It's all in your head" and "I can't help you," along with "You need to find someone smarter than me." Then he shoved me out the door with no referrals or direction of any kind.

2. My Second Primary Care Physician: She seemed chill until I wasn't diagnosed with MS (she reaaaaally wanted me to have MS for some reason).  She then told my pain management doctor that she'd prescribe me the meds I needed, only to ambush me with an intervention.  Lady flat out accused me of being a drug addict.  If I were a drug addict, I'd be the worst one ever because what junkie brings their mom to doctors appointments when they beg for drugs? She got yelled at by me and my mom.

3. My First Physical Therapist: Fell asleep in the middle of my appointment......... Yup....... 'Nuff said.

4. My Second Neurologist: "You're too pretty to be sick", "You'll continue to improve", "Stop seeing doctors, you're wasting everyone's time", "I'd tell my own daughter the same thing." I feel bad for his daughter.

5. My Second Pain Management Doc: He made me cry, then smacked me on the leg as some sort of weird attempt to comfort me (which made me scream because NERVE PAIN) then he yelled "well how was I sposta know that would hurt?!" To which my mother and I yelled in unison, "YOU'RE THE PAIN MANAGEMENT DOCTOR!"

6. My First Cardiologist: Literally told my mother to shut up. He got yelled at by me.

7. My Second Cardiologist: Was 2.5 hours late for all his appointments, the waiting room was full, whenever the door from the waiting room opened, I saw him texting in the hallway. His nurses had to apologize for him.

8. My Fourth Neurologist's colleague: During the most painful procedure of my life she had the audacity to say "I know it's annoying." She got yelled at by me.

9. My Fourth Neurologist: Never knew what the fuck was going on.  Also his office sucked so he gets negative points.

10. My First Psychiatrist: put me on a med that turned me into a zombie (where my Klonopin homies at?) then scoffed and told my mother "Well I can take her off the med but she'll probably kill herself. That came outta fuckin left field cuz I had never been suicidal... fun!

Honorable mention
My First Gynecologist: gave me the drug that ruined my entire body, then put me on a birth control that sucked.

Here's my advice: don't ever get sick.  It is not worth the trouble.

1 comment:

  1. This made me face palm (regardless of having disgusting doctors myself as well) because god fucking damn why do these people exist! Good that you yelled at these assholes, select few of mine I would've LOVED to yell at but instead just cried hysterically afterwards. Such fun! Also yes I agree. I rate getting sick a -1/10

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