Showing posts from March, 2019

The Loneliness of Chronic Illness

No man is an island... unless that man is chronically ill.  Chronic illness makes islands of all its victims. 

Y'know that feeling everyone has as a teenager? That "no one understands me" feeling.  Take that and multiply it by a million and that's chronic illness.  At least when dealing with teenagers, people have a point of reference, since they were once teenaged themselves.  The same can't be said about chronic illness.  With chronic illness you don't get it 'til you literally get it.

I'm going to be honest here, I don't know how to cope with the loneliness that accompanies chronic illness.  It is so gut-wrenching and all-encompassing.  It's not just the literal state of being alone, either.  Along with the physical solitude comes the mental.  I could be in a room full of people and still feel utterly and hopelessly alone, because everyone in the room is able to function so seamlessly while I'm trapped in a cage of my unreliable body…

My Gastric Pacemaker Experience

Hey I'm Kayla and March 1, 2018, I received my Gastric Pacemaker/Neurostimulator, so it seems only fitting that I write a post today, in celebration of it's first birthday.

Back in the middle of 2017, I began to lose a ton of weight very very quickly.  Within 5 months, I had lost 1/4th of my body weight.  I was unable to eat without extreme pain or nausea, and I had gotten to the point where I could barely even stomach liquids.  Fortunately, I was able to get proper testing relatively quickly and I was diagnosed with Gastroparesis, which translates to stomach paralysis, for those who don't know.  Basically, the stomach is a muscle that contracts/pumps in order to move food through, and my stomach muscle stopped pumping.  I ended up being referred to a surgeon in the Gastroparesis Institute at USC, and he laid out my options.  I had the option to start treatment less aggressively (ie Botox injections in my stomach, which have a very low success rate), or I could look at my …